MLB instructed the home team to wear alternate jerseys so the president is the only obvious white national in the stadium.

Nope! I am STILL laughing but seriously, he needs help. He is mentally unstable and he looks terrible (in the eyes) on certain days. He is a tragedy waiting to happen and I don’t wish that on anyone. I want him to win in the biggest game of his career: LIFE! 

I have the body of a professional athlete!

It is hard to grasp such a thing but it’s true, he really is named Bubba Derby.

He came in a ‘head’ before the rest of him.

On a sunny day like that, it’s never a bad time to rock out with your cock out.

Dude killed it at the annual company picnic sack-race

The only reason he beat his personal best was to get to the end and put his dick away. Classic motivational tactic. Try it and see for yourself.

He sure went balls-out.

Urban is nuts about running.

It’s always nice to see someone uncut down their personal best.

i knew i should have put money down on him to show.

One of the best catches you’ll see at any level. He goes over that fence with absolutely no fear and with one thing on his mind - catching the ball. Impressive.

Actually I’m right.

How dare you, I’m a riot at parties :) And I mean, I’m not immune to its charms. I have several IFTTT shortcuts chained to Google Assistant that send text messages to friends for dicking-around purposes. And I do think these things will eventually be a lot smarter at chaining together tasks and questions and…

This trend of not wearing socks in shoes needs to end. It’s disgusting, sweaty, smelly, ruins shoes, and nobody wants to see your man-ankles poking out underneath your tight-rolled skinny jeans. Unless you’re actually wading in water or on a sailboat you just identify yourself as a disgusting idiot.

Man, could you imagine how many games he’d miss in a 162 game season?

What defines it being an accident, crash, incident? The headline makes is sound like she Mathew Brodericked a family of four.

As someone who’s studied two East Asian languages and trained as a translator, I’m annoyed because I know talking about something as particular as pitching strategy and technique in a language you just started learning is really fucking difficult.

I would agree to this if MLB also agreed to outlaw the Boston accent...and Red Sox fans...and the entire franchise.