The Olympics should just choose one city and stay there forever.

A Japanese student of mine, female, wore a T-shirt which read, “I’m here about the blowjob,” to class. Unfortunately, she had gum disease and the kind of teeth which could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence.

So he can’t finish?

7/24 placed on 15-day Disabled List

You can put it on MUTE! YES!!

It’s part of the dress code in Japan

Who still talks on the phone anyway?

Prada phone bought on online auction for about $250. New ones were $1,000.

No, because I have a phone that was made only eight years ago.

I think not but have you heard the story of the guy who robbed a plane and jumped out over the Rockies with his parachute?

my mobile phone is eight years old. my iPad’s camera is definitely much better

For urinating with the trophy, for saying he picks his nose at the table, for having a smug face, for saying he's in cash when the market crashes, etc.

Women are blonde, men are blond.

If you walk around the drinking areas in the evenings you’ll be approached often and then greeted with a heavily accented “haro!” I never respond because those kinds of people can say nothing more.

If you’re a smidge overweight when visiting Japan, you will induce gales of laughter.

I’m holding my iPad now and I think, what’s the big deal? I’ve heard people say, ...”if you’re one of those people who thinks using an iPad for taking photos is socially acceptable… “ to them I say, “you’re a bunch of twats.” They’re not blocking the sun.

I’m 6-3, but can’t get an exit row seat because my wife is an oriental.

How about just one parachute - for the plane?

Embargo

The jock tax