People like her make a crusty old broad like me so happeeeeee. I love a freak...and I mean that in the best way.

well bless his heart.

How is Rabbies Formed?

Because women don’t deserve justice, of course.

The constitutional right of the accused to confront the accuser. It’s something that does more good than harm, but it leaves victims of sexual abuse and stalking in horrible positions that often results in them refusing to testify. I’m not sure of the solution though. Ideas? Also while keeping in mind to change this…

I used to work with child models (advertising) and rare was the photo session that did not end with some child crying because they were so over it (and done with their stage mom).

I think you can only use the phrase “body count” if you kill people with sex, like Lady Mary’s Death Snatch* on Downton Abbey.

“My body count? Soon to be 1, after I kill you for being such a douchebag.”

I personally would only count consensual encounters.

Because women come with a used up count, as well as a use by date. How else is a man supposed to know whether his girlfriend is worth wiving?

For what it’s worth, it sounds like your eldest daughter is an intelligent, thoughtful young woman. I was so impressed by the maturity and clarity of her responses. She seems to be doing really well, and I think she’ll make an excellent grown-up.

Alllllll teh tech bros in Austin are losing their shit bc the city wants to require that drivers undergo fingerprinting and background checks. Somehow protecting people from unknowingly getting in a car with a criminal is “anti-innovation.”

let’s call this whole Uber thing off.

This is the best thing I’ve read all week.

UGH, this is one of my pet peeves. For no discernible reason. Just shut the fuck up about twerking cuz you clearly don’t know what it is. Miley wasn’t twerking. No, Andy Cohen. That isn’t twerking.
And the Harlem shake too. That’s not the Harlem shake, people.

I want to put a catheter full of fire ants up his pee hole.

This resonates so much with me. People say “oh but you just do your own thing and ignore the haters.” But what if the haters are coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE? I already do a good job ignoring what people think I should do, but motherhood would crank that shit to eleven and I just don’t want to deal with that.

I kind of wonder, is having kids really that hard or is it that we judge people who don’t do the million totally unnecessary things for their kids? Like, I am pretty sure I could even be a slightly bit buzzed and still be perfectly able to take care of a baby’s daily routine. It’s a kid, not a nuclear reactor. My…