What the hell is up with that face?!?!?! It looks like he’s pooping out a pine-cone.

“I’m sorry I screamed but everyone’s being so unfair to me!”

That’s a very small piece of toilet paper for such a large piece of shit.

What tickles me the most is the fact that, without a doubt, Secret Service members noticed it and chose not to say anything. 

And yet it’s the least embarrassing thing he’s done as President.

No no Junior, people don’t like you with beer because as your college buddies said, you piss yourself. You drink too much then have to wear a diaper, which is how you got the name “Diaper Don”. Donald Trump Junior is an alcoholic who wets himself when he’s had too much.

They wouldn’t have the leverage they do if younger versions of them didn’t support them.

So that old fuck can understand what you’re telling him.

Dear Orrin Hatch: I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll stop hammering at you fuckwits about this as soon as you allow people who can get pregnant to make their own decisions about their health. Do we have a deal?

I know this won’t be popular here, but Republicans have a point on Kavanaugh, and I’m a liberal. I mean, Kavanaugh, a man, SAID he didn’t do it. I mean, now, whenever a woman credibly accuses a man of sexual assault of abuse, do we have to pretend to listen to and care about her story even though the man says “Nuh…

BaeArthur to Orin Hatch: Fuck you.

You guys are giving him way too much leeway. He’s just a fucking lying hypocrite, like the rest of them. 

But we have to keep sending troops to Afghanistan. We’re *this* close to deploying legal age men and women to a war that started before they were born. That’s the ultimate achievement for futility and wasted lives. Very few wars reach that milestone, you know. Soon enough little Johnny all growed up can be killed by…

There’s a %0.001 chance that Stephens does not have some sexual harassment/assault skeletons in his closet.

“For the first time since Donald Trump entered the political fray, I find myself grateful that he’s in it. I’m reluctant to admit it and astonished to say it, especially since the president mocked Christine Blasey Ford in his ugly and gratuitous way at a rally on Tuesday...”

I love how Stephens’ writing just drips with condescension (like we’re all too stupid to figure shit out on our own), but he says stuff like this without considering the implications of his phrasing:

A tougher approach to North Korea

Apparently, everyone named Bret or Brett is a douchecock.