My favorite part was “I’m going to spend an entire column raving about this dude but I can’t be fucking bothered to even attempt to try to spell his last name correctly, and will instead rely on the same stupid, racist joke that people have been making about foreign names since writing was done by pressing little…

Let me know the first time you do anything, at all, of note.

Why the fuck didn’t the Lions challenge it? That should be the story. Officials make mistakes. Isn’t that the whole idea of challenges?

So the guy that beat up a stripper for taking money while he made it rain is calling someone a punk. You have to admire the Herculean level of disconnect.

You shouldn’t wagyu fingers when your beef be too soft. Not everyone is as tender as they are, so you should ground your beef or sit there stewing in anger. Instead, trim the fat and chuck the BS and sear towards future contests.

A good example of not rushing to judgement would be refraining from shooting another person in a fit of road rage.

The Life and Times of the Yale Man

2016: Public Indecency (Probation)
2020: Cocaine Possession (Probation)
2022: Cocaine Possession (Rehab and time serve)
2030: Assault (Stripper drops charges)
2040: Securities Fraud (Civil Settlement)
2048: Money Laundering (Civill Settlement)
2052: Secretary of Treasury

I wonder when you’ll run out of ways to describe him.

It’s a nice play, but Jesus, Kawhi Leonard is going to win the MVP. Hes like watching Julius Erving in the ABA, he has virtually no weakness.

Sorry, future man. None of that stuff you mentioned has happened yet in 2016.

You’re thinking of Kawhi Leonard dummy.

This dude PAID $150 to get to an open gym tryout on the off chance somebody of import would notice him 3 years ago because he had a kid to feed. I mean, wow.

Bet you $5 they win at least one game this year.

Simmons was my favorite new player last year. One game he pulled this ridiculous spin move to a dunk at full speed.

But her 10-year-old half-brother is. I’m sure he can help her out.

She’s not good at cyber!

She has friends? She strikes me as the sort of person who only has colleagues.

Star for the My Cousin Vinny reference. I fucking love that movie. Used to watch it in my yute.

to be fair, Katrina saw “Airplane” AND “Airplane 2" watching a TV station on a Saturday Afternoon around 1994, so she knows a bit about airplanes from the 1980s