Matheny: Give me a K, Oh!

Welcome to the Second Annual Deadspin Awards sponsered by Anheuser-Busch!

How did you find out what it says on the Adequate Man business cards?

We need a pizza guillotine, with a 14” blade that BEHEADS each slice, making the pizza easier to separate. I would pay four dollar for this Oxo-brand device.

Me everytime I read the word ‘sheeple’.

When did EA buy the rights to the CFL?

That’s not fair to people whose name isn't Jerry Jones.

Best Dog

I beg to differ on the sloths....

Puig: “At first when they said you were coming I thought you were the Joker”
Goff: *nervously laughs* “What?”
Puig: “The Joker made a mean joke about me on Twitter”
Goff: *sweating* “Oh no I’ve been a huge fan of yours for years!”
Goff: Honorary Dodger

SO MUCH THIS.

Am I the only one getting a Dudley Dursley vibe?

“Kylie dating Tyga broke Chyna’s Heart”

Why does this not have more stars?

These are the kind of discussions sports needs to be having!

“@harry#1giantsfan2007 stick to crayons and cartoons, I dont want any of this leftist bias in my sports takes smdh”

I would enjoy a Deadspin sub-blog of Patrick Redford memes.

Well now my coffee is all over my desk.

I’m a little upset there wasn’t a single ‘Sent from my iPhone/Android/ect.’. I love imagining people becoming irate and having to hammer out their emails at the whim of autocorrect.

They don’t broadcast that on the Ocho? (Sorry I had to do it)