That moment when you realize social chair Braxton booked the Beta Butt Chug Formal on the same night that Entourage comes out on DVD.

But, why though?

For whom are the court battles “embarrassing”? I am not embarrassed. Are you? It damn well isn’t the NFL, because - while “corporations are people, my friend” - I am pretty sure they can’t, you know, feel. And, even if they could, I am like, positive that the NFL would be the kind of person that doesn’t feel shame.…

I’m all in favour of the Second Amendment, provided it applies only to guns that existed at the time the amendment was ratified. No centerfire ammunition, semi-auto, double-action revolver, none of that.

You don’t even get a percussion cap (invented in 1807), so good luck killin’ folks when it rains.

“Why didn’t you correct the misinformation contained in the Mortensen tweet?”

“Well we had an investigation. And we needed to give Ted Wells the time and independence to come up with something that would support the things we told him to find. He had complete discretion on which facts to ignore, which facts to make up,…

I think what Goodell is trying to say is that he personally believes that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh, people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they…

Every bit as convincing as Jim Irsay’s annual Halloween costume.

Because most people listen to headlines only, as someone who has read the entirety of the Wells Report, the Wells Report in Context, the AEI study, the Headsmart Labs study (which, by the way, called the numbers correct months ago), and the appeal documents (haven’t sifted through the emails) it takes a lot of work to…

Troy Vincent being a moron was a pretty prominent takeaway from the transcript. It wasn’t new information per se, the hearing just highlighted it well.

I thought this paragraph from Charlie Pierce yesterday really summed it all up:

We can’t prove anything say you are guilty, cause come on you must be, you are too good and we will lower the penalty....Please, stop being a big meanie and admit to the thing we cant prove.

I love that I’m alive during a time where there is a public platform for an NFL player to call Scott Fujita a “dragon ball z name ass bitch”

“Hey Russ, we know you want $25M a year, but what would you do if we took all that “extra stuff” off the table, and just did it Jesus’ way?”

“Bazda wahota, shag. Dobiellia Nok.”

"Maybe poker's not your game, Ike. I know! Let's have a spelling contest!"

I could see this movie 1,000 times and never get tired of it, all because of Doc Holliday.