My dad says it’s because he’s a quitter and only cares about collecting a paycheck instead of winning.

I know what you said are technically names and words, but just a heads up, none of it makes sense. 

He’s got the yips, and when a quarterback has the yips, there is only one thing left to do.

Not the Antonio Brown come back story I expected.

Yeah, man. The lucrative field that gold diggers have been utilizing for years: being raped. 

I think I can sue AB for assault after reading that text message. It definitely gave me brain damage.

Steelers fans like him again now

I’m not sure I’d want to see Intergluteal Cleft opening for anyone.

Something something something...

Still more conference championships than Notre Dame.

As a lifelong UT sufferer, I feel I can answer this question for all of us: Without fail, there will always be next year. And god damn it, next year’s the year, man. (Coach name) just needed last year to start getting his recruits, this year to build a first year with those guys, and next year? Yeah man, next year.…

People care about a lot of teams that never win much, there’s nothing wrong with that. What’s insane about UT fans is that literally they start every season thinking they’re destined to win the national championship that year. Sports radio here in August is a parade of lunatics predicting 10, 11, 12 win seasons. 

+1 Alderaan being blown up by the Death Star

And the only thing that can prevent another Patriots Super Bowl victory? This man:

BRB, going through every article written about AB over the last two months and faving all the Steelers fans’ smug comments.

PUT IT INTO MY VEINS

And like that, the laughs of a million Steelers fans were suddenly silenced.

I’m extremely confused by all of this. He tried to fight his boss and has on multiple occasions refused to show up to work, and Deadspin’s biggest bone of contention seems to be that the Raiders are being unfair by not guaranteeing his salary.

Thank you for this. Deadspin has been caping for AB during this whole thing when it is 100% AB's fault. None of the other hundreds of players have his problems, but somehow this is all the Raiders' fault.