I once silently farted and it smelled exactly like firecracker smoke. Like, my wife asked me if I smelled fireworks. It was probably all the gunpowder I’d eaten for lunch that day.

My theory is that Molly saw that Max was about to cough and made the split second decision to blow a little ass, hoping the exceptionally loud sounds of Stephen talking and Max coughing would cover up her shame.  Do you know why no one laughed or looked upset when it happened?  Because it was a girl!  I, and all men,…

He 100 percent tried to cover up a fart with a cough. Might as well own up to it. Also, I fucking love Le Batard for spending time on this during his show.

That reminds me of the famous Rickey Henderson story of when he framed his first $1 million check and the A’s was like “Rick, we don’t have a record of you cashing the check.”

I’m delighted for him. My former BiL caddied for him once, and said he was one of the nicest players he’d met – and he’s caddied on the European and US tours!

You know what was awesome about Paul Pierce? Kevin Garnett.

LeBron is not leaving, although there is no way he is happy right now.

Listen, I was 9 when the Tim Burton Batman came out too, but I try not to let it back me into bonkers takes like “Jack Nicolson was a better Joker than Heath Ledger.”

This reminds me of when Butt Fuck Sluts Go Nuts vol. 14 came out and the local theater ran all 13 previous Butt Fuck Sluts Go Nuts films in the BFSGN-iverse the day before. Took an hour and a half.

Umpire Tosses Dick Who Argued Balls And Strikes; Tossed Ball Strikes Umpire’s Dick And Balls

Wow. You seem tremendously fucking dumb.

He should’ve been called for a technical. He knew the refs wouldn’t call it because they were afraid to decide the game like that, but they found another way.

And, that’s why I don’t like Stephen Curry and the rest of the Warriors. Any other player does that to a ref and he’s instantly branded a thug and will never be able to live it down.

Neither call is nearly as bad as the Warriors Twitter accounts say they are, but regardless, no call would justify how much of a gigantic asshole Curry comes off as there.

If you taunt the refs, they will find a way to screw you over.  The only people who the Warriors have to blame here are themselves.

Hehe

One of the nicest ballparks I’ve ever been to is a minor league park. I think it was for an exhibition game since the Red Sox were in town, but that was a helluva day in Baltimore. 

I literally lol’d, but I’m old

Mitsubishi was so ubiquitous 20 years ago that it just blows my mind what they’ve become. The Mitsubishi Eclipse was the default “car to buy my daughter for her high school graduation” of my generation, and now... this.

Scalabrine held it all together.