No worries, mate. Like most of what I post here, this one was put together from bits of old Chinese newspapers.

Of course they’ll sign anyone. I mean, if there had been some unsigned protestor who was a somewhat similar QB, stylistically speaking, do you honestly believe the Texans wouldn’t have snapped him up when Deshaun Watson went down, and would’ve instead opted to let a somewhat promising season go down the tubes? Well…

I wish I had three arms so I could force three-way headbutt Don Jr, Shkreli, and Cruz together.

The NHL is an entertainment product. The fact that this is one of your all time favorite moments means that the NHL was very good at its job. The fact that drunk NHL players picking teams is no longer a thing that happens is better evidence that the NHL isn’t very good at its job.

Player To Be Risen Later.

You damn SJWs conveniently ignore the fact Schiano knows more about how to staph a locker room than you ever will.

South Carolina certainly didn’t feel this interested in standing for the US flag a little over 150 years ago.

i can’t help but think that Russell Westbrook answers the question “what if Steve Smith had played basketball instead of football?”

True story - I sometimes stream Knicks games (I’m a Bulls fan) in the background while doing work in the evening because of Clyde’s soothing voice.

You’d think they’d catch on.

SPOILERS

St. Louis Post-Dispatch headlines:

Honestly, what’s worse: shooting yourself in the foot and retracting the offer from Schiano, or keeping Schiano and getting MRSA in that same foot?

C’mon man, let’s allow the voters of Alabama to make their decision.

Bruins fan here. The next black-and-yellow clad idiot who declares that the B’s net is the problem and that they should trade Rask for a bag of used pucks is getting beat with a sack of oranges.

*Fans are fucking stupid.

Better have an official double check ball inflation before each series,

Hockey fan here, and yes I want politics in my sport. Check out how the Flyers fans booed Sarah Palin after their beloved owner tried to foist her on them.

Now, Johnny Unitas, THERE’S a haircut you could set your watch to.

Blake Bortles is an anagram of Bleak Lobster. This means nothing and everything.