Nicolas Sparks is the Thomas Kinkade of “storytelling,” if that’s what he thinks it is.

What can unlimited leg power do for you today?

Died. I'm dead. This is a ghost commenting. #slayedbyBey

Nicholas Sparks’ house is filled with paintings by Thomas Kinkade.

It kind of sucks that of all characters, Noah was the one who didn’t have an arc.
(I’ll show myself out, thanks.)

I’m DYING. Clearly you need to jump on that mentorship program, because I can imagine Samantha Bee monologuing the shit out of this.

Brilliant.

You know I’m torn on this! As a woman and person of color it’s great for ME. I mean how nice will it be to just be handed a high paying writers gig without doing any work at all or having any talent, you know? I could call up a few late night shows and have a job tomorrow, no resume or writing samples required!

He does have a shit-eating grin

I’m guessing the disgusting rumor is that he’s into scat, right? He’s a powerful dude and they all like being degraded and dominated in the bedroom (or in his case the bathroom.) Like that Senator from Lousiana and his diaper fetish.

I heart these.

The minute Kesha puts out a new record, I’m going to buy ten copies and roll around in a pile of glitter.

She doesn’t use the “$” anymore at all.

Agreed on all accounts, except I think you forgot when Danny Devito exposed us all to his bae potential.

What if he’s a commenter.

Oh man, it just keeps getting better. I never ever ever want Rob and Chyna to break up.

Maybe he saw on Jez that Kris was on her way over.

Terry Richardson, sexual assaulter and sometime photographer.

“Celebrity” edition seems like a stretch.