I don’t know why anyone goes to KFC when Popeye’s exists.

as long as it’s black, wrapped in crinkly paper and delivered with “ride of the valkyries” subtly playing in the background.

with some tremendous concentration on a wacky catch by Alvin Kamara (who would then run in the two-point conversation)

I could NOT stop seeing “raccoons” even though I knew there was no R or S. Also, not usually food or drink...

Split the difference, adopt the Penix as a mascot:

I was practicing some cheers for the upcoming school year with a couple of my neighbors just for fun.

Oedipus Tex?

But it DOES have moving parts NOT involving your arm. The Piston/Plunger, the Filter Screen, and the Structure Disc. Yes, while you do use the movement of your arm to allow the up and down motion, that doesn’t make the press have “absolutely no moving parts”. If it didn’t have any, your arm would get tired of the…

Right! It’s for traitors, too!!

“I fought to protect the freedoms you enjoy in this country, so you better stop fucking enjoying them!”

For a song called ‘Piano Man’ there sure is a lot of fucking harmonica in it.

- The National Anthem before NFL games

“Flags. I fucking hate flags. You fucking hate flags. Everyone fucking hates flags.”

The turn signal thing. I get not using it too early, but I would rather it be too early instead of too late, this gives me the opportunity to move over a lane and get around this person if possible. The worst time to use your signal is after your brake lights come on. “why are you braking? why are you braking?? oh now…

Imagine how disorienting it must have been to be McCain in that moment: Accomplish something good for your team and get thumped in the butt and tossed on the ground for doing so.

“I learned it from you, Adrian Peterson! I learned it from you!”

He may have slapped some balls on that one. Bad form, dangerously low on the slap, and too close to the middle. Pick a cheek bro.

Yet another post that people at work can’t enjoy because the video wasn’t paraphrased in text. Such a shame. Kotaku was doing so good before, what happened?

Genius is oft decried as heresy by those who are butt.

Pro tip: Things that give off heat are also enjoyable to be around when it’s cool out!