Did you see St John's Wood?

I have it on good authority that my fan-fiction script would have been much better. Obviously it got lost in the post.

The ratio of successful David Mitchells to unsuccessful David Mitchells must be extraordinarily high compared to most other names. Is there a more successful name on the planet, pop culturally speaking?

I think you'll find it's the caliphate of Birmingham.

Two girls, one coup.

A shady past in Iraq that will also be conveniently forgotten about after a year or two… but I guess alternative universes can be distracting.

A small village in Armorica that's still holding out against the Roman Empire. And my best friends are Asterix and Obelix. I'd have easy access to Getafix's Magic Potion. I'd go on global adventures and fight in cartoon-like pitched battles where there is absolutely no danger of dying a grisly death…. That would have…

Who says you aren't already….du, du, duuuuuuu

And WWE Wrestling… the one genuine thing I can cling onto amid all the lies, spin and pomp that we are routinely fed.

There's a Spongebob movie coming out… this is your pension and kid's university fees rolled into one!

You need a good lawyer…

Guardians Team-Up… couldn't they have come up with a catchier, less literal, title?

And at the very top of the crazy tree are the Raw Foodies. Even vegans think they're mad.

Only couch potatoes need apply.

I can't wax off to this.

The third photo down rather optimistically depicts a guest and his girlfriend.

I went there once but got locked out of my room after losing my Godzu-key

He's a homedic genius

Yep… the last one was basically just a list of things that happened.

Just to add some context, in case you're not familiar with the paper. The Daily Telegraph is the UK's largest selling 'quality' newspaper. It's also its most conservative. Not sure what the equivalent would be in the US… maybe the New York Times?