Yup, the other way around would never work.

"Don't mind if I do"

. . . there's only one type of valentine that's okay to hand to your special chum this year . . .

It comes with a courtesy cease and desist letter from Katy Perry's attorney.

Poor Left Shark. He looks so sad. This is like the saddest Valentine ever.

"Hey baby...wanna see my sperm whale?"

*insert obligatory "your life, your choice, sincerely hope it makes you happy" comment here*

Whenever I see stretched out ginormous fake breasts like hers, I keep imagining someone popping them with a pin. It's a horrible mental image, but they're so balloon-like, and the skin always looks like it's stretched almost to the bursting point, I can't help it. ;___;

I am a DD and it's hard enough to find that!

I do not understand the obsession with ridiculously large boobs. It's just a fucking hassle to have anything above DD because you can never find your size in stores and then they start sagging when you're still really young and you have a whole different set of anxieties to deal with.

Is it possible for the breast tissue/skin to burst from too much pressure?

That is a rough looking 36, I'm almost 35 and a single parent with 3 kids and she looks older than me.

That's a man.

Yeah, seriously. Not to mention the fact that labeling women as desperate and attention-seeking is kind of sexist and kind of bullshit.

god she was pretty

OK, first, giant LOLZ at "insufferable raisin"

I'm gonna be THAT person—

"Is this what aging feels like? How soon before I start shooing children off my lawn and squeezing my guinea pigs just a little too tight when I dress them in their little outfits?"

Hayley Mills was my mom's childhood idol. She could totally rock a sweater.