These two guys know they’ll have jobs with the Nationals next season, while neither Papelbon nor Williams will. Simple as that.

JFC this is on point. Hutton demolishes Penn throughout the entire film. Damn it, now I want to see that movie again and it comes on ENcore like once every senatorial term.

Ha! I’m a Nats fan and while this season has indeed been a disaster, I find this to be totally hilarious. And also totally accurate.

Embarrassing if you’re sitting out of range of foul balls, sure. If you’re sitting down the third base line and a line drive comes screaming at you or someone around you, having a glove is not so embarrassing any longer.

If someone could have two guys read this aloud with “Ashokan Farewell” from Ken Burns’ Civil War plays in the background, I’d be grateful.

Fall is awesome. This is axiomatic.

It definitely depends on several factors. 1. Weather. Bark in the Park in May or late September is fine if you buy seats in the shade. In June or July? Both you and your dog will melt. 2. Dog size. Our dog is 12lbs and highly portable. He can walk for a while, but stadium distances are beyond Shih Tzu abilities. I can…

Goddamn it, this is what I was afraid of with this movie. My wife has been all about going to see this film since we saw a preview some months back. “Yeah, it looks good,” I said out loud, but in my mind I thought, “This looks like it might be a shitty version of The Departed.”

“Bad writer says good writer is a bad writer.”

Look, you and I, as reasonable men, can agree that your proposal is both polite and logical. But that attitude will make you a terrible married person. But it’s not your fault! Where you see a sandwich with too much mustard, she sees a thoughtful gesture of her love that she took time out of her day to do just for…

I missed these posts from last season and am thrilled that you’re back for another round this year. I stopped watching the NFL several years ago, but these posts are must-read for me.

Rockefeller would just have you killed by one of his loyal Standard Oil peons. Because despite having the miracle of Face Time, smartphones in your pants pocket still can’t stop bullets to your face.

As someone who watched WWE in the common rooms of my boarding school in the late 90’s of the Attitude Era, and just came back to it recently, absolutely try the WWE Network. The first month is free, so you literally have nothing to lose.

Wrong. LBJ was scaring the shit out of Americans when these actors were mushroom clouds in their parents’ eyes.

Pretty sure promotions like this are designed to get more people in the park to help pay for things like paychecks. The attendance on Sunday (~25K) was an improvement over the teams’ usual draw of ~21K, which is 28th out of 30 teams. Still shitty, but a little less shitty.

But you do you, Mr. Puckere d’Sphincter.

Christmas Vacation > Family Vacation for me simply because I don’t find dogs dragged to death funny. But I readily admit hypocrisy here, as the electrified cat gag in Christmas Vacation has me cracking up every time. To each their own. In total, they are both hilarious movies.

I haven’t seen the match yet (went to bed, recorded the last hour of Raw), but I was assuming Cena would retain. For one thing, it keeps the storyline going toward SummerSlam, which is the point, I think. Cena wins and remains not just the US champ, but a legitimate contender for the Heavyweight title in August. Had…

The two best pieces of marriage advice that I received before I married my wife 7 years ago was from my grandmother and grandfather, who have been married now over 60 years (so...over a half century back then) and together since they were in high school.

If my dog were stolen and I found him posted on Craigslist to be flipped:

What the world really needs is a funeral parlor that does weddings as well as provides midwifery services. Call it “Circle of Life Inc.” and voila! Recession-proof business that will rake in the cash throughout the life business cycle.