To my shame, my friends and I did something similar to this in middle school (early 00's). A few years into high school, one of the girls told me that she knew about it and that it hurt her deeply. I remember feeling just absolutely awful about it (surely not as bad as it probably made her feel as a 13-14 year old…

it’s actually a good idea to add all sorts of fake information to stupid social websites and places that have no business knowing your real email, DOB, hometown, etc.

This. i always forget I have music saved on my iTunes account until I hop in a rental and plug into the car’s system. Continue playing the podcast I’m 30+ min into? Nah, here’s that Lil Wayne you downloaded on your iPhone 5s years ago.

Jared Kushner seems like he’s the equivalent of a sentient bag of marshmallows wearing cotton Dockers

One of the truly Oscar-worthy 2 minute performances in the history of cinema. 

Another Trump fraudster. Harvard student? No. Fashion model? More like PR placement. Pro skater? Where? Poet? More like bad lyricist - to be charitable. Religious Jew? They really don’t intermarry, so even that doesn’t check out.

He’s not Dan Savage. But he’s also not not Dan Savage. 

“Your baby can pee inside your uterus” is way less marketable for the anti-abortion crowd.

Screw Florida. Too humid and too many dumb fucks.

Here in Golden, CO, we were hearing thunder during the morning snowfall. It was too bright to see where the lightning was, which made the thunder even weirder. Google says it’s actually nothing special when that happens, but that was the first time I’d ever seen/heard it during a snow and that was exciting. We didn’t…

I thought that too.  The faith that dad has in his portly PlayStation kid is endearing.

That’s a very Trumpian thing to say. “He has really strong legs.” 

Same - I did ok, but I’ll never forget sitting down with my dad and him telling me with tears in his eyes that I couldn’t go to my dream school because we just couldn’t make it work financially.

if I had a dime every time someone told me “we can’t afford it, we can’t afford it, even with a scholarship we can’t afford it,” when I was applying to colleges....

Our system does not permit enough downward (or upward) mobility. Some of these scions should be working at 7-11, and there are people at 7-11 who should be in the Ivies. 

Who's Loughlin now?

I know this is horrible and awful and shows how tiered our society is and that “hard work and dedication will help you achieve” is bullshit....
BUUUUUT...
I fucking died at that dad who wanted his son to pretend to be a kicker. “He has really strong legs,” is the coolest dad sentence ever. 

Aunt Becky: “I just wanted so badly what was best for my child. I guess I took it too far.”

Audience: Awwwwwwww..... *sappy music begins playing*

Danny Tanner: Aw, Beck... It’s not about the name on the college diploma. It’s about knowing, wherever they go, your kid did the best they could.

Aunt Becky: “Thanks, Danny...…

Nah. They’ll cast Candice Cameron Bure just to piss her off.

I don’t feel bad for the kids at all. They had every possible advantage in life (including parents who were filling to commit crimes on their behalf) and they still couldn’t get accepted to decent colleges? Cry me a river.