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    Can I have just ONE goddamned website that isn't trying to reinvent itself as HuffPo/Buzzfeed? Just ONE?

    I mean, it's hard to mess up a medium-rare sirloin, theirs is perfectly fine.

    I never got the impression Outback purports to be high end. If anything, they're the "affordable" steakhouse, like where college kids go on a nice date.

    Nope. It is, rather, a chilling tale of conformity gone mad.

    You missed a Warsaw Pact joke?

    KINKY AZZ SEA SONG SCAM

    The fact that anyone under 40 is saying his name in non-disgust is a pretty strong vindication of this approach to modern celebrity. I wish more people would try it.

    Yeah … we Texans have honest to God Mexican restaurants as well.

    I never used the words Tex-Mex at all, so not sure where this is coming from. But okay.

    Yeah ,definitely no Mexican restaurants in Texas …?

    As a native Texan, Rick Bayless's shitty ass Mexican food now has me convinced I have basically never eaten any really good food from another culture in my life.

    Don't be so sad, Cookie Monster, America is older and weirder than ever …

    I listen to the Hammond Song about once a month, it is simply an eternal classic.

    Let the high-pitched warblechanting … BEGIN!

    Okay, wtf-ery ahoy: She was burned at the stake as part of a Salem-esque witch trial. She was innocent, but "sold her soul" to get revenge - and (ironically) became an actual witch. What really makes this even more of a twist is - again, because she is "dead" basically the whole movie - she literally creates thoughts…

    Basically yes - she's a witch. But even that part has a twist, which I don't want to spoil because Bryan Cox deserves an Oscar just for explaining it with a gravitas that really wouldn't be possible in real life because of the generally wtf-ery of it all.

    "Reportedly" delivered the line?

    #2 behind Pepper Potts, she's gotten better with age, though.

    Somebody should do this just with movies from the 1920s. You could have 2 minutes of nothing but Sunrise clips. You'd even get your precious sunset!