You nailed it. I could accept a reasonable, intelligent person saying this, laughing momentarily before screaming “what the fuck is wrong with you?!?” at the TV.

Sure, baseball name. Imagine Chris Berman screaming it at the homerun derby to the tune of Richie Valens.

So Georgia lost a national title because someone inexcusably allowed the opponent to sprint past them? Weird.

Fair. Next.

As a prosecutor, I understand that we have to make tough decisions based on what we think we can prove and what sentence a Judge will impose if we get a conviction. Almost always, that means negotiating a resolution that makes some sort of concession to the defendant.

Next up - most of Kevin Smith’s work?

What if his size is always proportional to the size of Luigi’s penis? Luigi gets excited, Mario has a more formidable opponent.

They might not beat the Nats to win the NL East, but they’ll win the same number of playoff series.

The first part of this bothers me. He’s a reporter who ostensibly covers this stuff. A professional player (this someone worthy of attention) stepped out of line. The reporter reported on it. He didn’t editorialize or call for this guy’s head the one might in an opinion piece. If esports is newsworthy, the actions of…

I remember ESPN acting a while back like one stupid grand slam final between Federer and Nadal, both well past their primes, would somehow answer which was greater. Nadal is the greatest clay court player ever. Federer’s overall career is far superior.

They took home four condoms? Big deal.

It’s bad enough if someone just pops one tag, but he definitely popped some tags here.

Honestly, all I could’ve given you on Dumbo was a flying elephant and racist crows. Nothing on the other details.

My wife has plenty of vibrotools

Jesus, that’s hateful. If there was justice in this world, Larry would have to eat it.

I hate to break it to you, but in a world overrun by Walmart and Target, there actually is tremendous value in being able to market yourself as a family-run business.

People need to stop treating 2016 as a realistic expectation. This year’s offense was in line with 2013, 2014, and 2015. 2016 was one of the ten most productive offenses ever. The Falcons averaged a 6-10 record across those three seasons. I’m not saying that’s acceptable, but the fact the offense clocked in at those…

Spoken like someone with a shelf full of ‘em. (Add more toxic masculinity here)

There’s a Sean Connery/Alex Trebek-style followup here but I just can’t.

Yeah, Blair Walsh was the jet fuel that melted the proverbial steel beams, but Pete still crashed the plane.