“There were curses that were blanked out...Do I have to sit with my kids and explain to them what’s going on?”

Yes, it’s called being a parent you stupid fuck.

I could feel confident in saying that, whenever possible, a happy marriage includes the idea of not driving your car right at your spouse

“I dunno honey, I think I wasn’t going fast enough and that was the problem. Get back out there and I’ll get this thing up to 88mph or so and I’ll go back in time to when we weren’t married.”

This is what happens to a Mustang when it is made to do “high-performance” maneuvers near a crowd that it is not allowed run over/devour. It commits suicide because its population-culling purpose remains unfulfilled.

You want an SUV but it’s too expensive? Just pick a smaller car!

“but what does “basic Audio” entail?”

Being a Russian ship, I expect we’ll have dash cam footage soon.

...However, what may be surprising is that only one of Chevy’s models, the Crosstreck, also made CR’s list of most reliable cars.

A Jag will never strand you on a highway... they just won’t start in your driveway.

I think Musk’s statement is absolutely true. The self driving feature will take its owner to its destination...

Introducing the 2019 Chevy Impaler.

Ok, that’s some Final Destination shit right there. 

“Funding approved. I’m buying Consumer Reports.”

Broke the barrier.  No longer Virgin.

Don’t go chasing waterfalls

“The one who got into the driver’s seat, later identified as Blake Lawrence, took so long that the owner of the car had time to come out, try to remove him from the car, and then go back inside to get his phone.”

I am going on the assumption that a 24 year old Civic is probably the 5th nicest car in Mobile, AL.

Well done. Rant with research I say.