Maybe I’m a soulless monster but I didn’t find any of this funny or entertaining or even mischievous.

Hellcat powered Powerwagon with stack exhaust and call it the Warlock.

30 years ago muscle cars had ~150hp

The definition of muscle cars has evolved with the technology. Not to mention, plenty of muscle cars, even in the 60's, had every creature comfort available at the time. I'll get off your lawn now.

Cool. An EV with airless wire mesh tires, lawn chairs and a Direct TV dish to boot!

8.) Merkur XR4Ti

I think there is such a thing

Production Model:

I've chatted up hotties with B.S. about being an aerospace engineer.

A jet engine burns fuel and works on the Brayton cycle. A turbofan engine is a jet engine attached in the middle of a ducted fan with a bypass ratio, big ratios for efficient long range aircraft like the 777, low ratios for figher aircraft like the F-22.
A ducted fan would just be a propeller inside a cylinder...which…

Looks more like a Lexus RAV-4 to me.

I think this is what my face looked like the last time I saw my Aunt Tillie at a family reunion.

Who is the "you" of which you speak in the title because, I assure you, I do not want.

Also, don't eat the glass.

For reference, here's a shot of the Renegade Trailhawk in action:

I'm surprised you didn't jump on this line