If you’re that insecure, then opening your relationship probably isn’t a good idea. Yes, your partner might have great experiences with other people. You might too. But if that’s all it takes for your partner to leave you, then your relationship is pretty shaky anyway, and you might as well find out sooner rather than…

As if you and your wife don’t have rules.

I’m not sure I’d want to be married if I thought of my wife as a wild animal that needs to be controlled, or a piece of property that I own exclusive rights to. Just get a dog, it’s cheaper.

Valentine’s Day is a good choice for the “should we renew for another year?” conversation. :) That’s what we do.

Absolutely agree... honesty, honesty, honesty.

Your relationship absolutely has to be rock-solid, no question about that. Any problems you’re having, or have yet to discover in your relationship, WILL be brought up by it, front and center, hugely magnified.

You have to make it clear that you’re excited by the possibility of HER enjoying herself with other people. And you’d better be telling the truth about that, or don’t even open it up.

Sure. Or, you know, not. Don’t project your fears onto other people. YOU might get served. I didn’t.

Our “vows” actually weren’t all that far from that. Why would I want to deny my wife experiences she wants to have? I don’t want a goddamn slave.

Are their published statistics anywhere on the amount of people in an Open Relationship having been sexually abused in their youth?

It is definitely work, and anybody who goes into it expecting it to be easy all the time is in for a painful surprise.

What if both people want it?

We had occasionally discussed it in abstract / fantasy ways over the years, mostly while having sex, but in a strictly “we would never really DO this but it’s fun to talk about” sense. But we had acknowledged and grown comfortable, and even playful, with the “which movie stars would you do if you had a one-night pass”…

I simply do not have any desire to be with anyone else.

Probably not very well. How would you feel on the other end of that conversation?

Or have a lot of self-control and never do anything pleasurable at all.

It depends on a million different things, including some elements of luck. Ours is fucking awesome.

My wife and I opened up after 9 years together. We’re having a great time in our adventures with other people, and are closer than we’ve ever been.