I assumed he literally made plans for the bird's care in case of his death. People who live with large parrots often do the same, or should.

To be fair, it wasn't just the bakery that got hit. The hot foods guys got the first of the crowd — Mister J might have been able to feed multitudes on a loaf of bread and a raw fish but breaded tilapia does take some time to fry in the real world.

Stunned kitties — anyone know if those are Bombays or just overexposed Burmese? Crap eye color for a Bombay but that could be poor photography.

I was wondering when Disney would come out with some sort of press release after this. I can't imagine bottom lines are helped by linking Disney vacations with sick children. Making sure the college kid in the mouse costume is fully vaccinated doesn't seem like enough spin. Maybe they are just hoping the story goes…

When I worked in a bakery there was nothing I would have loved more than an excuse to turn away the post-church crowd on Sundays. Those people were pissed off, hungry and dressed in uncomfortable clothing and somehow that was my fault.

Actually, the owners are claiming that the poisoning was probably targeted at one of their more successful show dog, but the dogs were moved around into different kennels due to a heat case nearby. My guess is that the poisoning was probably intended to give the dog an off-day from feeling ill (that's enough to squash…

Judges tend to favor dogs that show signs of acting like actual dogs — hard pads from running around outside, 'honorably earned scars', and of course the correct attitude. Plus it's pretty difficult to maintain good muscle tone in a dog without tons of exercise (and a treadmill won't do it).

I have trouble imagining Hitler coming back as an Irish Setter. They are pretty much bliss wrapped in red hair and sunshine. I'm pretty sure Hitler would come back as a pekinese.

If my show cats can primp, preen and show off for a judge (and they do) then I can't imagine that a show dog wouldn't. If the dog isn't enjoying the show life he's not going to win, attitude in the show ring is a part of every standard and dogs don't fake emotions. That's why all those inane announcers are always…

There is no daylight savings time rage like the guy who has to program the GPS satellite interface — I've never been so glad to NOT be on a project.

Lazy is a symptom of boredom — especially with gifted kids. No one is lazy about exciting things. Right now learning is that boring performance that you willpower through on your way to anything else. Minimum effort to avoid punishment is the motivation. (Ever seen the movie Office Space?) To improve her performance…

You taught them that you are a crazy person who sprays them with water at unpredictable intervals, so they avoid doing things near you that draw your attention.

Rules for training *anything* are the same, you can clicker train goldfish if you have the patience. The arguments about training are also the same. On one side there's the 'alpha hierarchy get-respect' people, and on the other is the 'reward correct behavior, ignore bad behavior' folks.

A little Feliway, and a cardboard box to hide in and this cat will be a happy citizen again. There isn't enough Feliway in the world to fix the Duggars.

The legal precedent is already there, and I don't think any of the new health care rules change it. Insurance companies can't force you to make a particular medical choice, but they can make it very expensive to make any other choice.

I understand why a physician would make that choice, but the majority of medical decisions in this country are made under the influence of insurance — either medical insurance or liability insurance or both. There is a precedent for insurance companies to financially penalize those who don't follow standard care…

A cult is just a religion without a PR department.

So, if I wanted to book Satan for a press junket or maybe a public speaking engagement you'd be the one to talk to? I always wondered.

There is no evidence whatsoever that delaying vaccination does anything except lengthen the period of time that a child is susceptible to infection.

You wanna talk to my doctors? Yeah, no. Talk to my lawyers.