I like you.

I’d drink gasoline before I’d drink juniper. *shudder*

One of the cool things about getting old is I’m increasingly hard to embarrass. If price plays into my decision making process, I say so and if the server pulls an attitude, I take my money elsewhere.

But how are hey going to know you’re cooler than they are if you don’t tell them what’s wrong with their beverage? ;)

I still remember when their divorce hit the news and Tina Fey said “If these two people are tired of having sex with each other, what chance do the rest of us have?”

I wouldn’t turn down a celebrity paycheck but I’m sure glad it’s not considered newsworthy when I get unmatched on Tinder or something.

If the bartender had been putting more than a capful of alcohol in the cocktails in the first place, I wouldn’t have had to order a shot and the whole thing would have been avoided. I blame him (or the restaurant owner for making him cheat the customers.)

The only time I ever sent a drink back was because it was mixed when I had asked for a shot and a chaser. This resulted in the bartender yelling at the server for not proper relaying the order and I felt bad. I’m sure this an anomaly, though.

Dear WHOLESICKCREW: I would have answered your question instead of dismissing it had you not been a dick when asking it. Your dickish tone indicated you didn’t want an answer anyway.

And unless they have a history of screw ups, I think banning from the Oscars is enough punishment.

He seems like such a cool guy.

The minute names were posted, I had a bad feeling it was going to come to this.

I seem to have a number of skin issues related to poor cell turnover, acne being the one that affects my face. I use so much chemical exfoliant that I worry I’m damaging my skin.

My experience with adult acne is that what works on you doesn’t work on me and what works on me doesn’t work on that person over there. My cure is retinol cream but if I hadn’t found one yet, I’d probably be willing to try this.

And yet when I order one, I get vodka with a little vermouth. (And lemon, ‘cause that’s how I like ‘em.)

I was just coming down here to comment “or just accept that asking questions is better than being confused and anyone who mocks you for not knowing something about booze is a douchebag.”

There was a planned one month gap between my previous job and my current job. I could still make the payment, but called to ask for a one month forbearance anyway and they said “yeah, sure, no problem.”

I’m blown away when I hear about women whose own mothers undermine their confidence in their appearance. My mother did (and still does) tell me I’m beautiful all the time. She’d read my Seventeen magazines when I was young and tell me I was more beautiful than any of the models. I didn’t believe her one bit but…

Reading anything more than a headline is like, really hard.

I don’t have any truly awful stories. But there was the time I was sternly reprimanded for doing something I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to do because I had worked there literally 20 minutes (I put my cup somewhere inconvenient to the manager; it wasn’t like I was rude to a customer or something.) I was laid off…