Stumble into your local town square (narrowly missing an oncoming car), then dig into a trash bin to pull up a newspaper to find the date on it. Make sure to play period-appropriate music as well!

Okay watching the trailer there was a point where it was flopping around in the toilet but it was still considered to be at 85% Edibility? I think at that point I would consider it to be at 0%.

So what is a space victory in this game? Go back to Earth and find it has been taken over by damn dirty apes?