Crazy amounts of water per unit of beef yes, but I don’t think it’s true for milk.

I’m all for leaving my tap water running needlessly, taking long showers, and running the water constantly as I wash dishes. It’s a nice way to spite Californians and I don’t have to pay for water in my apartment. That said, almonds are a strong contributor to the drought in California. It’s one thing to taunt them…

Nah, another guy in the comments section had it right. “Nut juice.”

And almonds are water hogs. Fuck almonds and the John Elway-looking horse they rode in on ...

Dear Hamilton, from now on you will be getting 75% of your agreed-upon salary, since it’s “basically the same thing.”

Indeed he does.

I actually enjoy his writing, despite the cranky old man persona he’s crafted for himself.

What the fuck is this? Almond milk is water with white food coloring in it. And almonds are sucking California dry. Can’t remember the last time I read something this stupid at Deadspin.

Meh, cashews are where it’s at as far as nuts go.

Look, if you have a legit reason not to drink it like lactose intolerance, then I got no beef with you about it. But it’s these motherfuckers like Hamilton that are all high and mighty about their squats, or their fucking almond milk, or walking up goddamn escalators that I got problems with. Almond milk is not a…

From the new blog, “Adequate Ham”

Call it almond tea or almond broth but its not fucking milk

As an engineer (not a scientist—but hey, you people don't really know wtf I do anyway), we generally agree that 3/4 of something isn't actually 1 of something. As in 96 oz is not 128 oz (or 1 gallon). Or how a 75 mph fastball is not a 100 mph fastball. or how if you get caught doing 75 in a 70 mph zone you'll be fine,…

Seriously, and it does not taste good in coffee. It makes my coffee taste like fucking almonds.

Seriously, fuck almond milk. So many better things we could be using that water on, but no, stupid almond milk drinkers have driven up the prices so we’re wasting it on almonds.

Almond Milk: For Those Times When You Think, “Fuck California’s Weather - Let’s See If They’re Still Laughing When I Steal The Bastards’ Water”

You can call it Almond Milk all you want, we all know it’s Nut Juice.

Only correct take on the subject.

Dude, fuck almond milk. It’s too thin and almonds are bullshit.

I’m really tickled by the Eleanor Roosevelt/ Jimmy Buffett mistake. Although it would have been far funnier if she credited Roosevelt with a Buffett quote.

The photo of the spoon.