I'm sure this will work wonders with improving his standing among moderate Republican suburban white women.

That’s a nicer presentation than the oxytocin rag, I suppose.

Perhaps he’ll be offended she called him standard when he paid to upgrade to premium.

Asylum-seekers in the land of plus-ones.

They should have had a curator just working on the crazy people mail. Someone needs to jazz up our presidential library system.

Ugh, I had almost forgotten about Joe Walsh. What a boil on the ass of Congress he was.

Works just as well with a little rearranging:

It’s crazed Bernie supporter mad libs in frozen concentrate form. To them, Clinton is more conservative than every Republican president combined, and has been waiting years for her chance to strike.

It’s because Weaver has been holding Bernie’s coat and coffee cup since the mid-eighties. He’s a longtime sniveling lackey of the guy, and it’s interesting to see how much everyone within the campaign hates his guts.

There was a Politico article immediately after the DNC in which many of his delegates complained that the Sanders campaign didn’t prep them at all. Those assholes screaming from the California delegation? A lot of them genuinely thought that it was a contested convention and their job was to try to win the nomination…

Ann Coulter, who has a book out today slobbering all over Trump, is having a rage stroke over his backtracking.

The Philadelphia Parking Authority absolutely impounds for reasons other than a moving violation. They boot your car if you have three unpaid parking tickets, and will tow if you don’t pay them quickly.

I like the subtly cruel slashes that conjoin living with sleeping and kitchen with dining.

I have a friend who writes for the Times, and is always putting up Facebook posts like “Have you used x product? Did it give you a rash? Let me know if I can quote you”

That’s a mischaracterization. It’s often the most expected route for renting in Williamsburg as well.

What powerful/dangerous enemies, though? It’s not at all clear. Trump has no institutional influence and the major donors hate his guts. The only GOP people supporting him besides a handful of also-rans and extremist congresspeople are doing so reluctantly. Establishment Republicans hate Cruz personally, but they were…

Giuliani had the right idea all along, apparently.