What’s this about? I didn’t read it. It had math in the title so I skipped it, but I’m from Austin so I want to know how it impacts me.

His daughter’s name means “my soul” in Spanish, he said, “because I’m cheesy like that.”

Who is amber rose?......Who are you? Who is that houseplant? Who is a chair?

I have to explain to her that it’s not alchemy or magic that transmutes peppercorns into pepper

Can they photoshop that constipated look off her face?!?

Megan Trainor is just the right amount of sanctimonious and bland to set my teeth on edge. She’s just the type that’s been making me roll my eyes ever since highschool.

Eh, gonna be a stickler here and point out that the use of the words “the ojo” in the article hints that Olomua was Hispanic, which, y’know, racist. Especially as that’s not a particularly Hispanic surname. Even if she was... why point to it?

:( psychosis sucks

Hmm, none of her initials are letters in the word Benghazi, (unless she has a middle name?) so I’m alert but not alarmed at this stage.

Let’s not automatically assume it was cheating, now. Open relationships are actually a thing and could have been in play here. (But most likely, cheating is the answer)

I worked at a pizza place and one time a guy came in to order a pizza for delivery for his son’s birthday party. He gave us the address (which was actually the address of a frequent customer) and a card to give to the kid. Something about it felt really, really off to me so I called the customer after he left. It…

I think, given the context of this story, this is the most important question.

Dear, wonderful, pizza. Is there no problem you cannot solve? <3

If she had ordered a Hawaiian pizza, she would have been on her own.

“Here, we see a server remove the packaging from a frozen cheesecake that arrived on truck this morning to be thawed in a cooler. And so begins and ends our tour of Obscene Selection of Cheesecakes.”

lol did he like

alcoholism, regional pride

I have an ex who talked to me like that when I dared to question how he treated me. Emotional abuse has a way of sneaking up on you and then controlling you in ways you don’t even realize. I’m glad JD told this psycho to fuck off and that he got disbarred. I hope she is okay, though.

When I try to picture what Keaton looks like I see a fedora filled with penis enlargement pills and Bud Light.