You have to sell them by panicking dudes about their testosterone or balding or some other weird dude thing first.

He’s so broke, he can’t afford those big fake pearls he likes to pretend to clutch while making believe he’s oppressed!

and Milo and Otis!!!

This man hates himself so much, he can’t even look directly at people.

Some of their other supplements have the dreaded soy. Which they think turns men into women or something.

Saaaame. Milo is such a soothing, nice name. For awhile there, he came close to ruining my childhood love of The Phantom Tollbooth.

Guys: I love the name Milo, and if I ever have another kid (HA!) and it’s a boy, “Milo” would have been at the top of the name list before last year.

He’s got a bit of a lazy eye; it’s a not-so-effective way of hiding it. He’s styled himself (much like Richard Spencer) as a kind of “fancy man” - but done with all the knowledge of a lumberjack. If you look closely, there’s all sorts of lazy “fashion-y” things they both do...badly. His love of sunglasses and looking…

Meanwhile, Leslie Jones is at the Olympics living her best life. Proof that there is some justice in the world. Eat shit, Milo! (I assume that’s what in those pills.)

OMG I THOUGHT THE SAME THING!

He’s about as talented as the women on Instagram who message me to join their It Works! team.

I claim “Polio Onion Asylum” for my mock-the-MRA.alt-right blog name.

my vote is for Polio Onion Asylum

These are all quite lovely, but On ominous oily lap is the clear winner. Brava!

Hey now, he’s nowhere nearly as talented a salesman as the people on QVC. David Venable could stomp this fool.

The classics never go out of style!

Milo’s so broke he can’t even afford to frost his tips anymore!

Two of those supplements may contain just a smidge more lead than anyone might prefer.

If nothing else, here are a few anagrams for his name: