First off - “Rosemary”, so guessing 70+. Right? She is afraid of GMOs...definitely spouting anti-vaxxer nonsense.

A line I heard on NPR this morning, from a (dead serious) New Hampshire woman describing how they differ from Vermont denizens:

No, no... you misunderstand... her kids are white.

The man in this story actually hadn’t eaten any doughnuts yet - you don’t get to the doughnuts until you’ve ran 2.5 miles already. So he just straight up had a heart attack, not doughnut related.

In my younger 20's I lived in a house with way too many people, we had many couches (even building stadium sofa seating to accommodate) but my favorite memory of that house was our sectional couch, which we called Sectional Healing.

It was a parody book that came out some years ago, that happened to do so well, it started a whole genre of them.

I just gained 2 reading this. :(

And now you have me thinking longingly upon my teenage years and the sheer pounds upon pounds of food I could consume in one sitting.

One Corinthian Two Corinthians Red Corinthian Blue Corinthian.

The local Audubon Society is very displeased with the occupation of the refuge. I wonder if they could amass an army of 1,000 falconers. Imagine them all raising their arms and a thousand birds of prey take flight, darkening the sky. They’re led by 12 great golden eagles. As the birds approach, shrieking, the…

I would happily settle for The Hater’s Guide to This Week in Tabloids.

So those are two male robins, right? They both have the red breast. Female robins are all brown so looks like Mama Robin there is in drag. Congrats to the C19 for being so progressive!

Have you considered reporting the psychologist to his/her professional society? Maybe your mother fabricated this and the shrink said no such thing, but if s/he did, a licensing body should be involved.

I have kids of a similar age ( 11 and 7) and it is so much HARDER than babies/toddlers. The amount of time that we donate to homework, activities, and other assorted crap is mind boggling. Having babies/toddlers is so much harder physically, but older kids? The mental and emotional toll is staggering. My son who’s 11…

It can both be true that Caitlyn Jenner is not deserving of the Woman of the Year, and that this guy is an asshole for calling her a man.

See, I think that’s the problem of with these countries and what is different from America. Over there they are warning women to not wear certain clothing. You couldn’t get away with those “warnings” here. People would be screaming their heads off rather than cowering in the corner. In fact, what would probably happen…

So sad that this was my first thought too :( What I don’t understand is how easy it is for these nutters to get access to an AK47, and organise these attacks so successfully. What kind of security service do they have? Why does this shit keep happening? I can’t imagine this ever happening in London for instance, not…

Can we add “too judged”? Because parents that try to let their kids fall down and be more feral and learn from their mistakes get arrested now. Somewhere along the line we made imperfect parenting a crime.

Yes they wrote “Maybe Chrissmyass”

This reminds me of my wonderful niece, who, at the age of 4, was explained the reason why Christians celebrate Christmas.

"He's dead. Dead people don't get to have birthdays. This is pointless".