I literally cried when my Blackberry died (water damage), but I'll never go back. So while I feel her pain, I know she'll get over it.

PHYSICAL KEYBOARDS. OMG. I never realized how much I missed those until just now.

Seems to me they euthanized the wrong goddamn animal >:(

Sigh.

OMG, he’s so sexy! I wanna lick him from head to toe, including that stupid hair.

To birth one asshole may be regarded as a misfortune (see Chet Haze and Tom Hanks); to birth two looks like bad parenting.

Yes, because Trump’s voice is sweet, gentle and music to the ears. He never raises his voice. And he smiles constantly! So it’s completely fair to expect the same of Hillary.

People in my feed, smart people, keep saying stupid things like Trump won’t win so i will vote third party. I am forming an ulcer right now.

I want to break shit. Combined with current polling and Nate Silver saying an election today would lead to a Trump victory I just. Don't. Get It.

I have a panic attack every time i hear about a democrat who wants to vote for Trump just to spite Hillary.

pretty sure this is the donald...

I would wear all of these. I have birthed two children and have not made time to exercise ok. STOP JUDGING ME!

I hear it really lets the ass breathe.

“Mr. Trump, are you playing Pokemon Go?”

I kinda like the saccharineness of the Lennon and Maisey version (which incidentally “brought this stateside” years ago.

CAN WE ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW THE SIZE AND SHAPE OF ONE’S LABIA HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE AMOUNT OF SEX ONE HAS???

That day will come I’m sure of it and then I will be so smug I might die

I feel INCREDIBLY vindicated on Kinja Twitter now and I can’t thank you enough for your contribution to the mayo and sandwich wars!

And the memo that referred to HRC as the Dem nominee was from MAY of 2015... Need a calendar to see which one comes first?