He won’t score a bigger goal in his life.*

* unless he moves to Orlando City next year and bangs in a last-minute winner against Columbus in the quarterfinal round of the Eastern conference playoffs

Britt McHenry, Florida Woman.

The Patriot Way.

To the extent that fantasy sports equals gambling, it would also be all the more amusing that Disney (ESPN’s parent company, and the anointed beacon of family-friendly programming) is not only turning a blind eye to its on-air talent endorsing sites centered on the concept, but to their bosses not actually disclosing…

LeBron probably would have taken the next month off to “recover” from the injury.

“Can we talk about how my Yankees signed my boy Stanton this offseason instead?” - anonymous Canadian hip hop artist

That would be former MLS discovery/designated allocation player Thierry Henry, Haisley. Give them credit where it's due for once.

That's not quite the same exit that Zidane made on his way toward retirement, but it's pretty close.

Dude looks ready to return to America for good.

I hear this guy is still looking for a new gig:

America is ready host the 2021 Confed Cup right this minute.

This is called "Tuesday night" in Philadelphia.

Hold up, we're not talking about Stu Sternberg here? Never mind, carry on.

Probably Nancy Grace, because family values

Just to play devil's advocate, those Teuta players were probably getting MLS-level wages, and the money offered to them was probably too good to pass up.

Sherman's spot on. Attack the message, beloved.

Kaka was the league's highest-paid player until Giovinco pipped him to that "honor."

The league's owners clearly have a ton of money to throw around, especially the newer ones — well, money on big-name players anyway. My guess is that the majority of players will continue make comparative pennies after the new CBA,…

Toronto's (and every MLS team's) salary structure as of last September... I'd love it if the ownership side of the league's CBA negotiation cries poverty at some point.