I... was looking at it in the way that I was trying to... be funny?

This is fucking ridiculous. Why the FUCK is white considered the default? Why are stories about white people the only ones considered worthy of critical attention?

I don’t know, I just don’t believe that white actresses are immediately shitcanned when rumours start that they are high strung and high maintenance. See: that bullshit with Mo’Nique.

That would be amazing. What do you think Bernie’s MTV Cribs episode would be like?

Dammit, I came here hoping for a Mariah Carey-esque tour rider. Bernie doesn’t like busy patterns. He also wants 20 white kittens and 100 white doves to be released when he goes on stage for the debate.

DOGS PLAYING POKER

That’s such an X-Pro II thing to say.

Does Uber’s pine tree hanging from the rear view mirror smell like roses? Or poo-oo-oo-oo

I personally view everything through Valencia.

I love The Go! Team. No regrets.

YOUR LIFE IS SO BORING I CAN LIFT A PEN WITH MY MIND

There’s a back? On television?!

They also understand the true value of bananas.

Where’s Kelis when you need her?

Nooooooooo we’ve been doing it wrong this whole time!