“You’re going Da’Ron way!!! Hahahaahhha....you fucking worthless piece of shit.” (Drinks mai-tai. Wolf whistles at 14 year-old.) - Lane Kiffin

Well you’re gonna flip the fuck out when you hear who they’re letting vote these days.

“Can you hear me now?”

SHOCKING NEW EVIDENCE SUGGESTS HILLARY CLINTON, IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE JEWISH MAFIA AND THE NEW YORK TIMES, WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE EXTINCTION OF THE DINOSAURS

I wish I had this feature for subtlety telling my wife that she doesn’t fit into that dress anymore.

Please note two spaces after each period. DISQUALIFIED FOREVER.

I guess the lesson is don’t ever get married?

The fun medical term for it is “degloving.” It scares me almost as much as an actual marriage.

Sharia law would be fine if it had more Jesus.

“Jesus Christ, you guys.”

Hahahahahaha... you think Donald Trump can read?!

Title Nein

Me too. But not until about 30 seconds before the debate starts.

I wish Donald Trump would read this story.

BLM: “Some police are assholes.”

Kellyanne Conway can try as hard as she can to be the Douche Whisperer and tame this asshole, she won’t.

I hear pigeons can be trained to understand simple words.

I plan on tricking him into giving it to us.

When will Donald Trump release his tax returns?

You’re a fucking retard