That ceiling was so low they nicknamed it “Brandon Taubman’s future career.”

Tacko Bruiseday

Philadelphia teams are known for low ceilings.

Tacko Tall

It’s not bush league, but the World Cup and Champions League Final are both neutral venue events.

(Two years ago I posted "I haven't seen a Bosnian murdered like that since Srebrenica" in response to LeBron stuffing Jusuf Nurkic into a locker and stealing his lunch money on a dunk. I think I've exhausted this vein, but damn if it wasn't a rich one.)

I haven't seen a Serbian atrocity like that since Gorazde.

It’s like the soccer version of this...

but is there another sport where a single penalty/foul can change the game so dramatically?

Getting paid and coasting is the American Dream and Hassan Whiteside is my personal hero.

Right NYCFC is definitely not financed by one of the ruling families of an oil state.  

“BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”

It took a multi-team trade for Miami to lose him in the shuffle. That is some good management.

He’s terrible and I never thought the heat would be able to get rid of him. He is the quintessential example of a player who got paid and is just going to coast.

Finally, a Joker movie that isn’t just for incels.

Cruising through the regular season, only to fall to a less monied and less fancied opponent in the knockout stages is pretty on-brand for City Football Group.

By the end of his time in Miami, he turned into a really lazy defender even inside the paint. He deters shots because he’s fucking huge but overall he doesn’t like moving much.

The best part of the clip of the foul is Maxi Rodriguez looking at Matarrita like “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, MAN?!”

What we’re here to discuss now is how NYCFC have fallen in the conference semifinals four years running, and their particularly bad record at home.