Right? I can’t decide if it’s the best or worst thing I’ve ever seen.

If you have any experience with this phenomenon—if someone used OKCupid to persuade you to vote Trump, even—please let us know in the comments.

“Hey there sexy, I’d li-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

Hillary Clinton:

Dammit, I came here hoping for a Mariah Carey-esque tour rider. Bernie doesn’t like busy patterns. He also wants 20 white kittens and 100 white doves to be released when he goes on stage for the debate.

No, but the wealthy can afford to keep themselves inside and away from mosquitoes as much as possible. They can afford repellents, and they know that they need to be careful, because they have access to this kind of information.

A really close family friend of mine had a child with microcephaly, although the doctors did not call it that at the time and had little information about what could have caused it, saying, “It’s possible it was a virus.” The child was only able to live for 3 months, and it was a life that was mostly suffering. What…

But if that were the case surely there’d be a more diverse vocabulary and bigger words interspersed among the “gosh”es and “don’tchaknow”s.

Your comment reminds me of something I do at any bar association events. Any time I get a compliment, I say “no, I’m not (insert good adjective here), but (insert either name of partner or the firm of the person I am talking to) is definitely known for (being that aforementioned good adjective). Then I take a long…

I’m a litigator. Sometimes I’ll do oral argument before the Court and think, “shit, that felt like rambling. I bet I sounded so dumb. I must do better next time.” And then I get the transcript back and I’ve spoken eloquently throughout it. Comparatively, I imagine Palin is like “nailed it” after a speech and then…