I get it. And Jane should have advised her to tell her mom, “Thanks mom for sending this info. I simply can’t write a thank you note immediately, but I will as soon as I can.” Also, why can’t her partner do a few???!

They don’t even need Jane to write her poorly-thought-out responses. Just print the three letters and let all of us fight it out in the comments.

Yes! How hard is it to regularly buy a stack of Thank-you cards and a roll of stamps? I don’t know why some people find it such a burden to be polite.

I’m not sure I agree (I’m still formulating my thoughts), but this just seemed like a great place to post this David Lodge quote: “Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way round.” 

45 here and while I’d like to have sex more often, mostly I’m tired and just want to go the fuck to sleep. The Mr. doesn’t like it in the mornings (although if we’re on vacation he’ll do it midday) so that’s not an option. We both struggle with body image and I don’t think I’m too far out on a limb saying that if that…

Slightly different take on that first one here. I was in the same situation for years: the sex was bad and my partner was unwilling or unable to improve. Even got into a fight now and then, with a memorable “why can’t we just keep doing this way” line thrown in. Recently we had a breakthrough though. I somehow managed…

And she would deserve it. What horrible advice.

I’ve been with my partner for almost 15 years and our sex life is almost nonexistent. Forgive the cliche, but it’s true: it’s not him, it’s me. I had severe medical issues when I was in my twenties that make P in V extremely difficult, to the point that it’s not worth it. (Turns out that watching your partner suddenly…

“Write a goddamn thank you note.”

Jane,

Letter #1 - This sucks. But you haven’t really given us enough info to judge. Are your taste different? Is he just not into sex? Is he completely satisfied? I would explore these questions b/c they will help you figure out what to do.

Agreed. This is shitty, shitty advice. I mean, if you’re going to list every possibility with no regard to its effect on the people involved, why not include murder? Or, hey - you could take anti-depressants to kill your libido. It’s a terrible idea, sure, but it’s something you could do.

Hard disagree. Write a goddamn thank you note. 3 lines: “Thank you for your sweet gift. Junior loves the [whatever]. We’ll think of you whenever baby [does thing, looks at thing. whatever]. Love & kisses/gratefully/humbly, New Parent. Same script for all gifts, so don’t worry about being that personalized (unless your…

“Get a lover or lovers without his consent. You wouldn’t be the first person.”

YUP. This is what people don’t tell you when you’re trying to decide whether to marry someone (at least, no one told me). You need to consider what you’ll need in a partner over the course of your whole life and it’s pretty likely that your sexual needs are going to change. Age is a factor, as are kids, a busy job,…

The non-consensual addition of a lover is the most fucked-up advice you could possibly offer. It’s completely disrespectful and cruel to her partner (of SEVEN years!).

Its a backhand way to justify her own sexual choices. By putting down others. It’s cool and fun right?

“Get a lover or lovers without his consent. You wouldn’t be the first person.”

If you get a lover/lovers behind his back don’t be mad when he leaves you/hates you when he finds out. Just sayin.

“seven year friendship”