How big was your dealership? I can see that being the case if you had a smaller sample size. It really is a case of self perpetuating stupidity within the system. Stupid customers are the majority, they dont get along well with smart salespeople and drive them out of the business, filling the dealership with stupid…

Truth be told, it was actually Matt Hardigree’s idea originally. He tweeted last summer about wanting to do a car comparison wherein the losing car is blown up. I told him I could legitimately arrange that, but he didn’t answer. I then pitched it to Ballaban and he loved the idea, so I spent about two months getting…

Not to mention the extremely stupid. We also cant forget the extremely stupid. I really hope you mention the extremely stupid. How many times do I have to say extremely stupid to accurately represent how extremely stupid customers are? I figure about 700 more extremely stupids will get the point across adequately.

I assure you, that was deliberate. The rantings of a madman. 

Meh, I used to have a top secret clearance and pulled plenty of shit while I had it. Theyve been watching me for a long time.

I remember this one time I pitched Ballaban on blowing up some cars and he loved it and said he would have you get back to me because he was on paternity leave and then you didnt and now my bomb squad contact is getting shot at by Iranian ballistic missiles and he will probably be too dead to help you blow stuff up…

This is the logic the combine harvester industry is using to justify their actions while North American sales numbers have plummeted, over 7000 production jobs have been lost in the last 5 years, revenue is down 16% in that same time frame despite the job cuts, and now the president started a trade war with the only…

Fusion is actually slightly larger in almost every interior dimension. What killed it for me was Im 6'2 and the Taurus center tunnel intrudes on knee room while the Fusion doesnt. The Taurus definitely has much better seats and if the center tunnel didnt block my knee, would be a much better choice for a long drive.

Ford really made a lot of stupid design decisions with these. Never seen a car so big on the outside but so small on the inside. Center tunnel being 6 feet wide made it impossible to get comfortable, and had all the exterior visibility of a bank vault. Still, a SHO with a chipped engine and transmission will run 12s…

Ok, pretend that I said that then.

Because the defroster alone isnt able to keep up.  

Not only does it get colder than -30, but even when it isnt, the rate of snow accumulation can be higher than the rate at which the de-icer can melt it.

I see a bunch of people responding who fell for the same trap the engineers did: not having any clue what a real blizzard is like.

I have a fantasy about abducting all of the people responsible for the abomination that is wiper stalks that spray the fluid out on top of the wipers. I would lock them in a dungeon to starve them, and then feed them to each other until there is only one left to bear the memory of their well deserved punishment.

No, but at least he didnt steal my goddamn hockey team

At long last, the texan reign of terror is over! May we never lose Jalopnik to the texanist agenda ever again. Long live Ballaban! Long live Ballaban! Long live Ballaban!

Definitely not replacing my 535xi with a newer Bimmer, thats for damn sure

Why the fuck hasnt the asshole who decided BMW grilles need to get bigger by folding them up over the hood been fired and faced a firing squad yet? 

God I wish shitstains would quit ruining shit I enjoy. Fortunately, I resisted doing manly man shit afterwards and spent the next hour ranting to my little brother about the real story and the people behind it and what guys like McLaren and Gurney went on to do. Then I went home and yelled at some nazis in an online…

You are trying to discredit me by posting a 100% accurate take? Bold strategy, Cotton.