Everything about the preppy camp across the lake is gold.

Undercover in a Fascist organization. .. Didn't Snape beat him to this?

I don't like the Pinkertons. They're muscle for the bosses, as if the bosses ain't got enough edge…

Alcott's personal beliefs don't change the plot of the book, though. The children play at Pilgrim's Progress, which is a very very disturbing book. That the author of Little Women did not share Bunyan's beliefs doesn't make them less disturbing.

Especially since a dystopian New England might mean an appearance from MAHKY MAHK.

That book is already pretty seriously fucked up.

…the nethers of which are especially shocking.

Forget it, Guybrush. It's Lifetimetown.

No scandal in a Lifetime Unauthorized Story?

Barry Bostwick. Or Frankenberry. Aww…
Maybe they could do a HSACWDTKDTKTLFO episode as a special.

Compared to Diane's app, that Eternal Sunshine technology is bullshit.

Turtletaub: Computer "you" is giving the performance of the year. When people see what you do in this movie, they are gonna storm Daniel Day-Lewis’s house, schlep him out into the street and shoot him in the head. That’s how good your performance it. It’s gonna make Daniel Day-Lewis look like shit. They’re gonna hate…

Princess Carolyn: Stop pissing off the orphans. A lot of them grow up to be serial killers.

Agreed. I liked the lightness and the, well, cartoonishness of the improv plot.

“Do you know where the batteries are?”

Diane’s attempt to brainstorm her way out of her funk was by turns hilarious and heartbreaking.

All DNA evidence ever shows is that sex occurred. Rape kits don't prove rape, they prove sex.

No harder than any other rape.

If marital rape were ever prosecuted, you'd have a point. It was legal in many states until recently, and most DAs won't prosecute.

Sit on a sharp dick!