I’m happy that Patton, his partner, and his daughter all seem happy. That said, getting engaged in less than a year is pretty fast even under the most ideal circumstances! I don’t doubt that they love each other, but I hope that they undergo some serious couple’s counseling before tying the knot, because processing…

This is a deeply dumb viewpoint.

Yes, and?

Nice to see you on Gawker, Woody!

The thing about Xavier is that they’re the ~society~ school in Phoenix. They’ll let kooks teach there, but the moment it becomes a public embarrassment you can bet they’ll take action. Keeping up appearances and all.

As a ~public school~ (but still very snobby Great Books charter-network) alum, I will confess that my main association with PCDS is Gerald from Wallace and Ladmo. This is because I am a terrible person.

The running joke was that St. Mary’s was the high school for pregnant girls, and Xavier was for quiet abortions.

I knew a lot of Xavier girls when I was a teenager 10 years ago, and back then you’d get kicked out for getting pregnant. Pretty sure that dudes at Brophy, the Catholic boy’s school across the street, would not get expelled for knocking someone up. Just sit and think on that for moment.

I think it’s “an adult woman who looks like an adult woman” that’s a little off-putting. Like, adult women look a lot of different ways, and are punished/rewarded in all kinds of ways for something they have control over.

I’m on a date with John Stamos at a small, intimate restaurant in Los Angeles. I can’t get a word in edgewise because he keeps going on about how hot and fuckable the Olsen twins are now that they’re 18. He insists, and I quote: “You don’t have to call me Uncle Jesse — just Jesse.”

Cool story bro, but I think you missed the part where Illinois, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and several other non-Southern states are part of this mess.

I mean, there are plenty of pictures of me from this era in full-Gilmore sartorial horror. Blame the age, not the costumers.

I mean, you’d think that the author would wised up to the meaning of the BC/AD thing when making a Catholicism joke, you know? Like, AD guys. Anno Domini. Come on.

Great! Make fun of him for the marijuana stuff then. Don’t see how his health or eating habits are relevant to his being a cruddy politician.

I have no love for Chris Christie, but come on. We wouldn’t tolerate this fat-shaming of a female politician, and it’s not cool to put it on a male one either. Christie has plenty of garbage to mock him for; “hurdur he’s fat” is the lamest way to go about it.

There are also plenty of gregarious assholes out there who actively fuck shit up. Just saying, extroversion is a two way street, bro.

.

I believe the full phrase is “Her husband squats, bro.” The “bro” is key.

1/3 the lawyer, usually

HEY NOW THEIR FETA FRIES OR WHATEVER ARE DELICIOUS.