Count the motherfucking clauses in that sentence. Forget the horrifying shit show that was the topic, any editor who let that damn clusterfuck out the door should be fired on the spot for that alone.

No way. The cosplayer had way too much personality to be an accurate recreation of the voice actor.

That’s amazing accuracy. I hope an MLB team signs that guy as a pitcher so he can drill batters in the dick.

I know everyone is saying Gordon was robbed, and rightfully so, but he should have been docked some points for his assists coming from what might be the stupidest looking mascot of all time.

Hayes continued, “It is extraordinarily imperative that the National Collegiate Athletic Association immediately institute legislation postulating a universally designated purveyor of inflatable leather spheroid,” before being punched in the face by the NCAA stenographer.

Well, at least it’s not the worst thing to fall out of a Bengal’s pickup truck.

Based on the video, my more immediate concern is not getting in a fight with a French girl.

Punches thrown: A lot

Fucking hypocrite getting plenty of support from the big banks, I see.

Just like your mother, Trebek!

*Offer not valid in Missouri.

Kareem looks pretty good in that picture.

Not one fucking mention of Flint. An entire American city is being poisoned to death, but because a GOP governor could be to blame we should just talk about football.

But he uses semicolons correctly, so he’s got a leg up on like 95 percent of us.

Francesca then closed the show yesterday by listing all the stops on the 7 train and knocking over a Diet Coke

Jean Paul Sartre: “Hell is Other People”

If he was so fucked up he couldn’t see the liney for 40 feet, and then ran him over without so much as a glance back, yet didn't miss a shift, then the Flames training staff need to all be fired.

That’s not how you use Throwing Shade. And that’s not the correct usage of Stay Woke. Gawker commentators sound like Hillary Clinton but somehow less cool and trying way harder.

“My password is unbreakable. It’s the name of my favorite player and his career slugging percentage.”

There’s no way the IT guys would be okay with getting that much grit on the keyboard.