A French thief’s new house.

Karate is Japanese, and then they showed him doing taekwando, which is Korean, with a giant fucking Korean flag on the wall.

You gotta go down to HR and knock on the door and yell “CAAARRRROOOLLLLL!”

Mon dew!

I’m not saying I’d vote for the guy but let be realistic: Warren Buffet was paying the same amount of taxes as his secretary.

“That’s why Trump is going to win this election.” I was with you until you predicted that Trump was going to win the election. He’s down in the polls right now, with very little time to make up ground. It took him about a month and a half to come back from the Khan fiasco.

And nothing will change about our gun laws. Shining city on a hill indeed.

Fair. Perhaps he started trying to tweet at a reasonable hour, then - such genius poetry as his takes a while.

I love everything you just wrote. Everything.

Rape is still just a tool in this situation. In fiction, rape of female characters is often used simply to prove the morality/immorality of male characters. The victim doesn’t matter at all, only the heroes’ and villains’ feelings about and treatment of her. His use of rape to elevate the character he’s portraying…

I get to use this image again!

Fuck that shit. Wash my hands after every time I touch my cat? When am I *not* touching my cat?!

I’m not sure that I agree with the author of this article. Maybe I am forgetting something, but I don’t remember Jolie or any of her reps claiming that Brad actually hit any of the children.

The black magic that will bring her back to life as a Cthulhu immortal only works in the Oval Office

Surely we can trust that the party that refuses to release evidence that could exonerate them is telling the truth.

I have yet to receive a satisfactory answer on what the theoretical endgame is of her alleged becoming-president-while-dying conspiracy.

You talking ‘bout me, Masshole?!

He does an impression of Donald Trump Jr., too.

When the religious leader most associated with universal compassion mocks you, it’s time to take a look at your life choices.

“The video doesn’t corroborate our story, but trust us, it’s our story that’s right and not the video. Because video, much like science and the female orgasm, is a just a bunch of lies.”