Still those things usually had torque in the mid 200-ft-lb range, so they had some shove off the line.

Yeah this is one of those situations where the generation before was just so many orders of magnitude better that you'd really only buy this one because you had a boner for a Mark Anything and didn't have a choice.

Except in the Fast and the Furious movies most of those cars also were fake. If memory serves that nitroused-up Johnny Tran racin' Jetta actually had an untouched 2.slow under the hood. In a movie where literally 1/4 of the dialogue was spent talking about engine modifications, you'd figure the engines would have been…

I've stopped scrolling at this point but I get the feeling you're going to end up shoring up America's reading comprehension skills about 500 more times in this thread.

Yeah I know every brand new car I've ever doubled the hp on that damn rear window would just start fogging up out of nowhere! Sooo annoying.

Yeah it's all fine and good, well proportioned with the wheels and all, but then they jumped the civic with those "hey let's turn a window into a blind spot for no reason" ram-air trunkchargers.

I appreciate you not posting a picture of how the body was "designed."

Well yeah I imagine if they had some copper adorned ball bearing that it slid into before disappearing it'd look a lot more finished. You figure with the attention to aviation-themed detail in the rest of that gorgeous work of art, they'd have spared some time on that too.

It was pretty clear that anywhere beyond a quarter throttle and that car was already heading for a ditch. I don't think I've ever seen the Stig so reticent to push a car hard before. That thing even with minimal control inputs was just trying to lose traction constantly. What a nightmare.

Oh come on. That Spyker shifter should have been #1. It's literally like you're loading an old bolt action rifle with every shift, then the gas pedal is the trigger on an explosion of power and sound. That's as hot as that gets.

Yeah any large Audi with more than 100k miles is really in timebomb mode already. Nobody wants to drop 13 grand on a car that might grenade a transmission or snap a timing belt and cost more than the car to fix, especially when this "RS6" can be outrun by a non-salvage-title, non-fake-badge Hemi Dodge Magnum wagon for…

That absurd $13,000 Cortina wagon got an NP for seemingly no reason other than most people on Jalopnik hadn't heard of it before so it was like some new kind of hipster beard.

I'd give myself a baker's dozen

Well among people who are me these regular car reviews are famously shitty and almost goading you into hating how smug and technically inaccurate they are.

There's no such thing as a real American who doesn't love cars. Cars are as American as road trips to the grand canyon. Anybody who tells you liberals hate cars is clearly not firing on all cylinders and really hoping you mistake the disjointed rumbling sounds for power instead of noticing the blue smoke out the back.

Reminds me of driving my brother's stickshift Cherokees. The pedals on those are way too close together to drive with work boots on. So many times stepping on the clutch the side of my boot would hit the brake and panic the whole car.

Closest I ever came was after pulling a wheelie while passing a couple cars in front of one that had to make a u-turn to chase me down. The guy must have been psychic because there was no way he saw where I went, but sure enough he showed up in the giant abandoned Carmax-style dealership I hid in. I hid behind a…

That was a hypothetical account of a person running and getting caught. To answer your question, the word "tried" is less than what I've done.

Running from the cops and it turns out they've got one of those 130hp BMW motorcycles instead of those delightfully slow Harleys. Man, egg on my face with that one.

Here's hoping they don't lawyer it up so much that it stops A) doubling as the world's coolest through road and B) Letting you pay some money to pull your car on there and take a random lap.