Does this mean if I watch Once Upon A Time or Grimm, I'll become a fairy tale character/creature? Because that would be awesome.

That's a good guess.

My dog will eat anything. Anything. Which explains why he is an overweight fluffball. He's currently on a weight loss food and it's doing wonders for him. It's a little more expensive, but it's for his own health. He's very special and he's survived parvo and a dognapping, so he needs to be healthy. His favorite…

I've never been able to do that, but I can unwrap a Starburst with my tongue.

Gimme sparkles and pink over khaki Dockers and polo shirts any day.

My friend goes to these crazy grooming shows and expos where people make scenes on the sides of dogs. It's crazy and awesome looking. The only thing is all the dogs look slightly ashamed that they've been turned into a dinosaur or a Van Gogh painting. It's pretty great just for that.

That one weirds people out, I've discovered.

Those are all awful. Declawing especially. You're essentially taking away a cat's livelihood.

We dressed my dog up as a punk prisoner for Halloween one year. He actually likes clothes, well, shirts anyway. He's a Pekingese and my mom isn't a big fan of all the hair, so we usually get him shaved down, especially when it's hot. We had the groomer give him a mohawk and asked what would be good to use to dye it…

All I know is I want to give that rolly-polly, hairless kitty cat cuddles and a loving home where it won't be tattooed. I've put animal friendly dye in my dog's fur when he had a mohawk groomed but a tattoo is just wrong. I hope that kitty gets him in his sleep.

Somebody please get Katy Perry and Rihanna better hair dressers. I really just want to hold them down and brush their hair. It's not 1987.

There are people who are convinced that I shrink every time I see them. I only ever wear flats so I wonder who they're actually thinking of.

Well, aren't you a peach.

I'll have to ask her when she goes to the salon next time.

This is what my mom tries to do with her hair every day and fails to succeed. She just must not be conservative enough to pull it off.

You'd be surprised. I saw two guys once using light sabers on a street corner in my hometown.

Sshhhh...Don't tell any more people. That's our 5' and under secret.

In high school during spirit week, a friend's boyfriend dressed up as an oompa loompa. It was terrifying. He'd jump out from behind doors at me because he knew I hated them. Why are friends always such jerks? But Boehner freaks me out. So does Snooki. Especially because she's shorter than I am and orange.

It's so true, though.

I will say little people make me slightly uncomfortable and I know it's ridiculous. The oompa loompas and munchkins always scared me when I was little. I actually cried when we watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in third grade after we read the book because the oompa loompas scared me that much. As an…