This is typical of the ethnocentrism I expect from the Deadspin sites. How can you pick on Lithuanians for this miss when the problem was clearly the Pole?

I had no idea how close I was to reaching a turning point in my relationship with this sport until last night. Like, I was goddamn hyped for that game and by the end my excitement for the start of the season had been entirely replaced by frustration. The second half was basically a showcase for everything wrong with…

That first Von Miller hit was the kind that makes you think “Peyton would have gotten that call 100% of the time.”

All I can say is thank CHRIST they penalized that one guy for jumping up and down after his team scored a touchdown. We need to keep that sort of behavior in check.

First of all, I’m an atheist that was raised in a Mormon household. With that out of the way: If a team wants to have a team prayer (just like my family does), go right ahead. A prayer in and of itself should not be a problem. If a player doesn’t want to participate, do what I do: sit there and wait a while. A prayer…

Even if Trump were to drop out tomorrow, somehow never give an interview ever again, the can of alt-right worms he opened won’t go away so easily. Even when he loses and loses big, the toxic waste he unloaded on the American political system won’t just evaporate.

Jesus fuck. This is the longest SNL cold open ever.

You date the wrong camels.

This is why Trump is so appealing to a certain subsection of the population. He makes politics, including INCREDIBLY complex international relations and ethnic conflicts he or most Americans couldn’t begin to understand (and I include myself in that group), seem so damn simple. And, for some reason (a combination of…

I used the same strategy to get my first serious girlfriend to sleep with me.

“People don’t know this about Iraq, but they have among the largest oil reserves in the world.”

1. Take the oil

I was referring to Mourinho’s favorite tactic “park the bus” and Arsenal’s inability to score any way besides walking it in, but you do you.

“What’cha got cookin’ today, Papa?”

That seat was reserved for the 4th place trophy.

Remember kids: the first person Manning kissed after the Super Bowl was Papa Fucking John.

Plus RG3 was dynamite until he ruined his leg in that playoff game. Never know what could have been, but the Skins were right to make that deal. If you can draft a superstar QB, you do it at any cost. The Colts are basically the worst team in the league + Andrew Luck, but they have gotten three 11-5 seasons, 3 playoff…

Alternate take: Fuck the Washington football team. All day, every day.

I say this in all seriousness- if I lived anywhere in the immediate vicinity of that monstrosity, I’d visit it every day, as part of my daily affirmations (which I do not currently have, but which I would begin to have)- “You see that, Zukka? Look at it. One day this could be YOU riding into war with Battle-Panthers,…

Mitch should stop acting this way, or he may end up with a nickname that implies a lack of control.