Should have gone with the Ellie Kemper route and said “Jamie Lynn Spears FINALLY releases statement about her sister”.

“On the one hand, having to perform good deeds on social media is ridiculous...”

Yeah, that was fine, too

So, like, mission accomplished, right?

One of my friends mailed me a big magazine ad with David Caruso on CSI Miami, knowing that I hated it and him. I hung it up on the wall of my cubicle at work thinking it would be a conversation starter. It hung there for a year & no one ever mentioned it to be. Eventually I realized it probably just made people think…

Yes, yes I am. And in France, you comment is illegal. Charges are pending.

Disgusting. Who would watch James Corden?

- Oscar Wilde

I hope he was Mumford and he can be replaced by a gravel-voiced Black man named Sanford. 

Josie Packard’s soul will be saved.

In Nomine Arbor

The power of cypress compels you!

Now, I know a lot of you are going to take this opportunity to make fun of Mumford and Sons, and yes, they’re insufferable, and yes, they’re like if Pinterest was a band, and yes, their brand of twee folk pop is the millennial equivalent of muzak, but...Yeah.

He seems like more of a Banjo Confederacy type.

And Elvis stole only eight-part medieval plainsong.

Or Mumford, Sons, and Stepson

It is very odd as Brits usually only steal African American music.

It is very odd as Brits usually only steal African American music. 

Imagine being too lame to stay in Mumford and Sons.