If you discriminate against someone because of their race, that is racial discrimination.

As much as I hate Twitter, I would much rather tweet than talk to high school kids about anything, so on some level I sympathize with the governor.

Similar to the bloody nose I got while trying to bring all of the groceries in from the car in one trip.

Before we get crazy, LeBron has known Simmons since the kid was in high school.

Someone gets it!

About 70% of the pictures I see of this couple make me think “No way Balki Bartokomous gets to fuck that! Don’t be ridiculos. They ain’t fucking.” Then I remember that Balki is from Mypos.

Am I supposed to be upset over this? It sounds to me like ESPN should have been smart enough not to trash one of their sponsors in a headline in the first place.

This isn’t even relevant. That is a different country who is our enemy at the moment. This sounds like it was written in North Korea by the dictator himself. There is no connection whatsoever. If you’re going to criticize the White House, go ahead because you won’t lack material, but please don’t write junk like this…

I don’t think you told this farmer’s daughter story right.

Was this bar next to the circus or something?

Like 10 years ago I was having a morning quickie with my girlfriend. She wanted me to give her a facial so when I was close I pulled out and came...all over the face of our 6 month old kitten, who awoke from a nap due to the commotion and came over to the bed to investigate what was going on.

I don’t suppose you could share the name of the bar, for posterity? It might help some avoid a similar fate... and others find the night they desire.

My first semester of college, I am living at home to save money (lived 30 minutes from school). Bumped into a girl I had known from high school who I had always joked around with. After a few minutes of chit-chat she leans up to whisper ‘Always wanted to know you better.’ so I suggested we go to dinner the next night.

Romantic sex in a picturesque barn during a rain storm followed by needing a tractor to get my car out of the field. Tractor being driven by? You guessed it, her very mad dad.  

My roommate and I once brought back some ladies from the bar and proceeded to retire to our respective rooms. Things were going smoothly when my date casually grabbed a tie and blindfolded me. The next thing I know, she says “hold still, you’ll love this.” At which point she slid a plastic toothpick UP MY URETHRA.

I (a man) was doing it doggy style with my ex while I was standing on the floor (she on the bed). In the throes of passion I put a leg up on the bed for better leverage. My aggressive thrusts started to shake up my stomach prompting a fart to bubble up inside me. Forgetting the adage to “never trust a fart”I tried to…

1a. My room used to not have a door, but it was still (relatively) private.

I’ve been lucky enough not to have any embarrassing ones. Never been caught by any parents/siblings

I’d have to say it’s a tie between the top 784 times I’ve had sex, where each time I lasted two pumps and then ashamedly said, “Wow, I never came that fast before, you really had me turned on a LOT.”