From TNR:

“As good fortune would have it, we had a bodyguard that summer,” she writes. They persuaded their bodyguard to buy lemonade, and then their driver, and then the maids, who “dug deep for their spare change.” The lesson, she says, is that the kids “made the best of a bad situation.”

That would have been the greatest story ever. Screw it, just say you did it. I’ll back you.

Maybe the point is that we as a society should aspire to conduct ourselves better than the most cruel, violent small segment of our population.

Well, I NEVER! Insulting? I should say so! Good day, madam! I BELIEVE I SAID GOOD DAY.

What the fuck are you doing with your life if you are a “premium member” to a Bill O’Reilly website? He was on nightly, for fuck’s sake. What could he holding back for his premium members.

Didn’t Nate Silver say that Hillary would win?

Me and my pals literally pissed on the star, middle of the day broad daylight and no one said a peep.

It’s only a matter of time before some tiresome person shows up, wringing their hands and proclaiming that “we’re better than this” and “all vandalism is wrong.”

the special flavor of hell that is sunset blvd is pretty effective deterrent, unfortunately.

I’m only disappointed to hear that the star goes some periods of time without being vandalized.

Oh Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, I do declare! That one sure was a knee-slapper! Suh, you are the livin’ end, I say, the vereh limit!

He dropped out though ‘cause he was enmeshed in scandal for putting his wife and kids on the payroll.

I hated Happy Days. But rest in peace, person who was apparently beloved and obviously much too young to die.

PlatinumDoor has never driven a mile over the speed limit in their life. Didn’t have a drink before legal age, or poured paint down the drain, or failed to disclose the $20 they get from grandma in their birthday to the IRS. Staying on the right side of the law is easy. Just don’t do illegal things.*

Fuck off, square. Go masturbate to Creflo Dollar.

4) Lots of people are addicted to substances supplied by their doctors.

movie concept: kidnapping evil rich people and then set them free in a forest and hunt them.

Honestly though, babies should be stored with the luggage or something.

My favorite is them saying that it is less messy to use a machine. Because when I typically pour myself a glass of juice, the liquid gets everywhere. The counter top. My shirt. My fucking eyes.