lol remember when Kylie said her lips were all makeup and not botox? good times

I hate Khloe Kardashian mainly because of her claim that her ass is from squats. It actually makes me furious.

Yeah, I’ve never seen contouring that managed to both shorten the nose and elongate the philtrum...

That used to be my method too.

Nah, girl, I’m almost 35 and I can catch a dick whenever I want. Hollywood don’t know you.

But will Britney ever find her friend Amy???

I didn’t know at the time because I HATED JA RULE SO MUCH. I think Ludacris was big at the time and I reaaaaally liked ludacris. Now Ja rule is very amusing. But seriously, he was ALWAYS YELLING AT ME. Kind of like Dmx. He was always yelling at me too.

Shade was born from people who were kept out of the sun.

1. She was not a “casualty”, she was a participant. Not having any accountability for your actions is shitty.

You know who is adorable when they wear bandanas? Puppies. Puppies and old wizened ranchers who whisper things about the soil and the wind and the nature of things.

This is actually really depressing. We’re finally watching the OJ thing on FX and my first thought seeing her pining for the cake was Marcia Clark and all the abuse she got for her clothes/hair/being a woman. :/

Spoiler: it’s also strapless.

Dear Bride,

“Is Lori Loughlin gonna have to choke a bitch?”

Ugh yes what is it with the lack of pockets in women’s clothing in general?? WE HAVE SHIT TO CARRY AROUND TOO.

I was once asked if I was “a little chinese” in a JOB INTERVIEW.

TOUCH OF ASIAN BEAUTY IN THE FACE

Khadija is from the Quran and therefore across the planet. It is as common in Arabic as Sarah or Rachel is to Christians and Jews.

Fun fact- none of the “bitches” referred to in 99 Problems are women, apparently.