Wouldn’t an unusual result be him passing his drug test?

Didn’t realize the Gruden red face bit was going to spread across the site.

Exactly. I’m not worried, though. I’m certain that Ashley Feinberg will clear this up for us in a follow up post. She really is great here at Deadspin.

On the flip side, it gave us a fucking great burn from the local Detroit paper.

You can repeat yourself as often as you like, and you’ll still be wrong.

Rodgers should shut up & go quietly to the team owner to solve this, not air his grievances to the public.

When the Cavs called, Thibodeau said he’d only trade Jimmy Butler if he got back 2 first round picks, LeBron James, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Mo Williams, and that up-and-coming 3-point shooter, Boobie Gibson.

True story - what’s even sadder for that beer vendor is that his job doesn’t even provide enough to allow him to go back to his home in Kansas to visit his father. His dad had to use some of his retirement savings to travel to Landover just to be able to see his boy.

That photo should get progressively redder.

Week 10 preview:

“Then he lost his leg in Dallas he was dancin’ with the train
They were all in love with dying they were drinkin’ from a fountian
That is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain.”

Sherman was right

They drafted a running back named after the O.J. judge.

Did he at least make the Patriots pay for the wall?

Gregg Williams is a bounty of bad takes.

Chin up. The bottom of the article also implies more Mina Kimes.

Bitch.

What a mess. I feel bad for the Algodoneros player who got cotton the middle of this whole thing.

Awesome decision-making there, initiating a fight with a phone in one hand, his hoodie up so he can’t see but can be ragdolled fairly easily, and his pants hanging below his hips. I can probably also take an NBA player with a couple of my friends in these conditions.

The pizza dominoes quickly started to fall: