You're fucking amazing.

Thank you for everything you do.

I’m at the Venetian, playing poker with a handful of the usual types, and this scrawny guy in a fur coat walks in and sits next to me. It’s Vegas, so there are plenty of guys wearing stupid clothes, but everyone is staring at this guy. Somebody asks him what he does for a living and he says he’s an entertainer.…

That must be the most infuriated she’s been in all her 4 years as a Seahawks fan.

How did he score with James Harden guarding the basket?!

How many QBs do you think they’ll end up with? Gabbert, Kaepernick, Manziel, RG3...and Sanchez? 5, I’m guessing 5.

RIP Kaep

Thank you for that. That was epic.

Get a load of this guy! He calls me names and makes sexually suggestive comments about the female anatomy all because he doesn’t understand HIPAA!

I feel like the follow-up questions were: “Cat? Good. What kind of cat? A tiger! Good! What kind of tiger? Not a Siberian of course, maybe something Indian with say, Bengal stripes maybe? Please say Bengal!”

Maybe you’ve never heard of a little something called HIPAA, which stands for “Health Insurance: Privacy Always Applies.”

Doesn’t matter the Hue, still Brown(s).

I didn’t know your mom was a Steelers fan.

There will be a Chosen One.

Is this the fight between Iron Man and War Machine?

Simple solution: turn to one of your most prominent citizens for electricity.